Comment pouvoir juger s’il est vrai qu’elle l’aime ?
Son cœur de ce qu’il sent n’est pas bien sûr lui-même ;
Il aime quelquefois sans qu’il le sache bien,
Et croit aimer aussi parfois qu’il n’en est rien.
(How can we judge whether it be true that she loves him?
Her own heart is not so very sure of what it feels.
It sometimes loves, without being quite aware of it,
And at other times thinks it does, without any grounds.)
The sermon series that I listened to is called "Love & Marriage" by Voddie Baucham, Pastor of Preaching at Grace Family Baptist Church in Spring, TX (which can be downloaded here, if you want to listen to them; mind you, some of the files are split up in a weird way, so you'll have to play them through consecutively). I recommend them. Seriously. You know you want to. Go for it. Click.
Anyway, in one of the four parts of the series, Voddie confronts what he calls the "Greco-Roman myth" of romantic love. The myth wants us to believe things such as “This thing is bigger than both of us", “We don’t choose who we fall in love with", “The heart wants what it wants", and the ever-so-popular "Follow your heart."
Bull crap.
You know what the Bible says about the human heart? That it's wicked and not to be trusted! (Jeremiah 17:9)
Don't get me wrong: it's not that I believe that emotions aren't valid, or that they're not God-given. On the contrary, I believe that they are, and are, therefore, a wonderful gift. And I believe that they should play a very important part in romantic love. (I'm also not saying that we humans are as completely wicked as we could be without God's common grace on humanity, just to make that clear!) But I know a bit about my own heart, and I can at least speak for myself when I say that I would rather not make all of my decisions based on what that little untrustworthy idol factory is feeding my brain... especially not when hormones are involved.
I believe that Voddie is correct when he gives a biblical definition of love to counter this myth: "Biblical love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion, which leads to action on behalf of its object."
Men, what Biblical model are we given for how we are to love our wives? That's right: our Lord and Redeemer Himself. We are called to love our wives as Christ loved His Church (Ephesians 5:25). Did Christ love the Church because she was physically attractive? Did Christ love the Church simply because His heart told Him to? Was His love for the Church - His spotless bride - an emotion that was beyond Him, bigger than Him, out of His control?
No. Christ chose to love His Church! Jesus chose to give Himself up for her! And He continues to choose to love her even when she doesn't act very love-worthy!
Let's stop buying into this myth that our culture is trying to feed us. Use your heart, but use first and foremost your will when you choose to love others, romantically or otherwise.
And if you don't feel like you love them anymore... stop it. Stop listening to your heart, and choose to love the object of your affection. The world will tell you to move on, to follow your heart, to trust in your emotions when things get sticky.
Boy... I'm sure glad that Jesus didn't buy into this lie when He chose to love me....
1 comment:
you totally hit this on the head. not that emotions aren't good and to be listened to, but i just identify with this alot lately - for a little while (trying to stop and just let God direct me) I was making decisions based on how i was feeling, kind of a hard lesson to learn though.
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